“I can’t exactly describe how I feel but it’s not quite right. And it leaves me cold.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
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I dreamed of you tonight and it didn’t hurt as much.
*TW
Only here to vent about my fantasies of a self inflicted gunshot to my head. Yeah I know life is precious🙄 …not mine. I love my husband but he can do better. I’m a worthless piece of fucking trash. I feel tortured by my own mind and it’s unbearable sometimes. I’m a shit wife, I know that. I’m shit at my job. I’m shit at taking care of myself, but that’s only because thats what I deserve. I can’t kill myself because I have to pay off my debt so I don’t leave it for my husband to deal with. I probably won’t go through with it anyhow. I’ll probably fuck it up and wind up a botched suicide victim so fucked up I couldn’t even try to carry it out with even a glimmer of success. Whatever. Maybe if I make myself hurt physically I won’t feel so bad.
Dont feel bad for me.
Don’t call anyone for me.
My mental health is shit.
I’m not here by myself.
I don’t have a gun.
Don’t freak out.
Can’t a girl fantasize about killing herself in peace?
Depression is fun.
Oh my god what am I doing…
What am I doing.